Ashley Michelle Schill

There Just Aren’t Words

Two years have passed since you were taken from me.
It still doesn’t seem that this is how it was meant to be.
The awkward mumbles of solace and very forced smiles
Have subsided, but still occur once and a while.

There just aren’t words for what we have had to face.
For me, life is still going at a very different pace.

I feel your smile when I first wake and fall asleep.
The love and friendship we shared and still share is so very deep.
You enter my thoughts countless times each day.
My mind continuously stalled on memories that play.

There just aren’t words for the choice we parents had to make.
Crawl into a dark hole or continue life that now feels completely fake.

Left behind was your daughter, who had just turned two.
I feel strongly that you can see she is a close replica of you.
She sees pictures and listens to videos so she will never forget
Her very beautiful and generous Mama and not feel upset.

There just aren’t words for the loss we all feel.
The never ending feeling that this just isn’t real.

The daily struggle of living with a missing piece of my heart,
Has become the new normal of my world and my part.
The tidal waves of grief that engulfed me that Easter morn,
Replaced now with ripples, I am choosing to believe you have just been reborn.

There just aren’t words for with the emptiness we must learn to live.
We have all thought the words, for your life, my child, mine I would give.

I love you, daughter,
Mom